This is the end

". . . . the only end, my friend . . . "

Well, this is the end for dressing . . . full stop.

DW was never very good at seeing things as they crept up on her, prefering to ignore it until it got too much and then it snaps. So it is in this case.

For 10 years after our last child was born we didn't have sex (barring a few unexpected times) for the whole time. I got very au fait with my hand . . . ! Recently DW has been very resistant towards sex AT ALL again and so we went for a walk and got cross quite a bit.

She's not exactly using sex as a weapon against me but professes that knowing I even think about dressing and sometimes "prance about" in skirts (which I don't, I wear skirts in a male mode - no prancing) puts her off sex or any sexual activity completeley.

So now I have been told that I mustn't do it any more. There was some talk about a "final straw" and "we've grown so far apart" but that's not true, I think it may just be an excuse.

Today I went into shops to find some mens pants, but they're just sooooo horrid I just can't buy any myself. I will ask her to go and get me some.

Personally I just don't think I can live under the normality which drove Reggie Perrin to fake his own death. I now have NO REALEASE of any kind, she didn't even guarantee sex of any kind if I do stop.
Oh sh@#!
I need sex!!!

Back garden

Iti s known, on another site, that I crossdress and was told I was lucky to have a back garden to dress in after I had posted a pic of myself with a skirt on from a long while ago.

Well gardens tend to be quite small where I am, but as the neighbours were out I thought I'd do a selfie in the postage stamp sized garden I do have.

I didn't realise how nice a shawl was until I thought it might be a good idea to try this one. Quite comfy and warm.

Comments and kids

I have been doing this blog on and off for a few years now and only one person has made a comment or even followed me (for a short while).
 realise I don't maintain this blog every day but you'd have thought someone would have mentioned something.

Anyway, since DW allowed me to dress whilst at home I thought I'd give the kids a voice in what I do. At ages 12 and 14 they're at a strange age (so am I I suppose) but they're completely unfazed by it. They arrived home to find me with a blue/white and green tiered skirt most suitable for summer I suppose. They looked at me but said nothing, not a "that's  awful" "why do you do that?" or a more pleasant "that's nice".

Great, these selfies, I think.

Go on, I know people look at this blog occasionally.

An evening social

The Open Uni. section of North Surrey have little socials occasionally and yeasterday was one of those occasions. I promised to go in something a little more dressy but it was such a yucky day I just couldn't get enough enthusiasm, so went as usual in my ordinary men's clothes.
If I had gone dressed up a bit I think I would have liked to go like this, but with some ballet pumps or something similar.
All I have to do is get some now!

I am also following a lovely picture blog by a crossdresser called Hannah, here.

Fashion show

Having found a compromise wrt dressing I was asked to do a fashion show of the things I have.

I did this last night and enjoyed it very much as I haven't coordinated any outfits in reality, so when I wore a skirt with the wrong top DW asked me to change top. She's no expert at coordinating things but she's a lot better than I am.

I got quite nervous at the end as I was expecting her to say something drastic, but she didn't. I even got compliments about some of my choices. Some skirts are out due to length or colour, but it has been agreed I can put some into my wardrobe to avoid creases. I may even be allowed to wear conservative skirts in her presence as well as the kids if I get their permission - I may not, given a free choice.

Here are a few pics of some of my wardrobe. I hope to get more dresses and accessories and shoes - lots of shoes - some time soon when I can save up. I have one pair of tatty old heels at the mo.

Resolution . . . . with time . .

OK, I suggestted I attend a meeting with other crossdressers (it actually advertised itself as being for transgender and crossdressers), which is where the whole thing got blown up - reasonably understandably I suppose. I'm not traspped in a man's body I just want to be a bit comfy. Perhaps it doesn't look like that to DW.

Shouts were shouted, threats, tears and hopes bandied about as well as going out to eat whilst "talking" about my unhealthy, sick, preverted obsession and letters written to each other to put down frank views. I may scan sections later to show.

"Wearing skirts even occasionally . . . . & . . . . when there's nobody there is just not manly!

Maybe not, but the world changes & we have quite a major role reversal for work/home life (I'm a house dad). I know that this doesn't mean I have to wear skirts or be submissive, but as I've been dressing or thinking about it on and off for most of my life it fit quite well.
When I married her I was not in a dressing phase so I didn't tell her. I didn'trealise this would reemerge after we were wed.
When I knew I would do it again I told her about the bits I was doing & have been honest about it, possibly too brutally honest.
She knew then, but it's only now it's blown up.

I find wearing skirts comfy - sometimes I wear other stuff.
Nobody knows outside our small family.
I haven't done stuff to embarrass her or to let people near here see me skirted.
I don't have time or opportunity to dress much anyway, but I still think about it.

I found a lovely pictorial blog regarding crossdressing and have borrowed this entry from it. Thank you Hanna.

So, much to my surprise DW has let me wear knickers again and next week when kids are away with the school on enrichment week one evening I will be modelling some of the skirts and clothes for her approval or otherwise.

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As far as my jogging / health kick goes I am able to go about 3 miles in 30 mins, but I still take breaks. I am aiming to jog this amount without breaks.

ED / PE, well I'm still not sure but I seem to be doing OK on the odd occasion we have sex. Perhaps I'm just getting used to myself.

Full of tears,

Those were the emails we sent each other yesterday.
Full of tears, needs, wants & expectations.
Weekend will be full of discussion, rules, limits & probably more tears. We shall see what we shall see.

I will post an update if anything else happens. Probably won't though.
Wish us all the best.